Back to the Future

So, here I am with this brand new blog and how long did it take me to post entry number two? Why, only a little over a month. Thirty-five days, to be exact. I knew I'd be absolutely horrible at updating this thing. Oh, well, I guess I'll just try and do better, though probably nothing will change.

Earlier today (or yesterday now, I guess) I attended a surprise 50th birthday party in my Mom's honor. Her birthday is actually Wednesday, but my dad and Mary, my mom's BFF, thought they'd celebrate early by having a celebration involving her family and some close friends. A very nice time was had by all.

As I reflect back on the event, it makes me wonder what my life will be like when/if I turn 50. I have to admit that I'm a little worried about it. By the time she was my age, my mom had already: a) gotten her degree, b) held a position in her chosen career field (which she would later give up for another, but still...), c) been married and had two kids. All of these things are just pipe dreams for me at this point. I look at her life and I look at what little I've done with mine (with many more advantages) and it makes me feel like I've completely failed by not doing anything more than serving a mission, accumulating a buttload of college credits without a degree, and holding a bunch of jobs that I hate. It makes me wonder-am I going to have a family and good friends there to celebrate that milestone with me, or am I going to be alone, celebrating by doing absolutely nothing out of the ordinary?

I guess I shouldn't be so doom-and-gloom about it. After all, I could be in jail, in jail, paying child support, or any and all of the above. I've heard many stories of people completing their degrees in their 40s and 50s and beyond and other "it's never too late" stories. Still, though, I always thought that I was capable of so much more than what I've done, and the success of my parents serves as a constant reminder of that. Maybe one of these days something will finally click inside me and I can finally use it as the kick in the butt that I need. I can only hope, anyway.

On a completely unrelated note, John Bowker can go straight to hell.